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问艾米: I have this dream every night. What could it mean?

It’s been going on for 18 months, and I’m completely baffled

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亲爱的AMY:我已经结婚五年了。我们有两个漂亮的男孩。虽然我们已经有典型的跌宕起伏,我们很高兴。

Columnist Amy Dickinson (Bill Hogan/Chicago Tribune)

In high school, I had a serious boyfriend for three years. It was a very emotionally abusive and a very unhealthy relationship for me.

然而,在过去的一年半中,我不得不每天晚上这所高中男友的梦想!

Some dreams are a bit steamy, but most of them are like clips from an unlived life. We’re doing daily tasks in our home, spending time with his family, going out with friends.

在踢球的是,我在这些梦想太高兴了!我的理性的头脑都知道,有来自十年前这种关系一些积极的方面,但怎么办?哆啦A梦或两个是一回事,但有18个月随访的!?

Confused Dreamer

DEAR DREAMER:梦想在我们的潜意识中,有时出现来帮助我们解决我们的清醒生活的问题。我建议你开始新的一天,为了寻找紧急模式,你可以解释写下你的梦想。写作的行为将帮助你回忆起你的梦境细节。

My own interpretation is that you might feel guilty for staying in such an unhealthy relationship for so long. Rewriting the old script (exploring the “unlived life”) might be your mind’s way of trying to prompt an attitude of acceptance and forgiveness toward your younger self. I hope you follow this prompt.

The fact that you are having these dreams every night without resolution is cause for concern. A psychologist could help you to turn the corner and dream differently.

亲爱的AMY:四年前,我得了严重的工伤事故,我不得不接受手术。这是一个冒险的过程,并有一个很好的机会,我可能再也不能走路了。我吓坏了。

Right before my surgery, my wife left — which in itself was hard but she abandoned all four of her children, too. Three of them were my stepchildren (they were biologically hers).

The two years since she left have been extremely difficult because three of our four children stayed with me and the fourth moved in with their biological father. My surgery went very well. It took a long time, but I can walk again.

我最大的担心一直是孩子们,虽然。我的前妻忽略了所有的人。她从来没有帮助支持他们。

他们是在她如此生气,我不希望他们携带愤怒和不满,因为这就是我一直是我生活的全部。我想他们是幸福的。

我给他们所有的爱我,但他们的母亲的遗弃是毁灭性的,以他们。我不关心她使我个人的痛苦,但我的孩子希望他们的母亲。

它撕除了我,她只要求他们每4或5周,只看到过一次或每年两次。

我只是一个破旧的人,可能真的可以使用一些建议。

破碎的心

DEAR BROKEN:对于您通过这个隔阂帮助你的孩子,你想办法变得不那么坏这是非常重要的。你的身体恢复是一个胜利。现在,你需要继续扩大和展示你的情绪恢复能力。

从你的叙述,似乎你的前的应受谴责的行为已经成为你定义体验。但事实并非如此。你现在正在做的 - 度过这一难关坚定不移地养育 - 这是你定义!

You have to show your kids that life does go on, and that you – and they – have some control over what happens next. I hope you will build a legacy of positive and hopeful experiences that become the defining next chapters. Build your friendships with other adults. Other successful single parents (fathers and mothers) will help to show you the way.

You might also explore the possibility of legally adopting your stepchildren, so that they will always know that you belong together. Changing your legal status from stepdad to “Dad,” might help all of you to move on together as a family.

亲爱的AMY:“在威斯康星州人防”表示a coronavirus-related concern, and in your answer, you advised her to “wipe” shared handles with disinfectant.

Amy, these disinfectant wipes may not be as useful as you think in containing the virus.

关心

亲爱的关注:如果我从门把手关心传输,我会用擦拭本身开门,以避免直接接触。

You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.

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