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Ask Amy: I found out about my parents’ risky decision, and I’m floored

我从共同的朋友听听他们不会告诉我自己

PUBLISHED:|UPDATED:

DEAR AMY:I live 3,000 miles away from my parents and have only been able to communicate with them by phone/video chat during COVID.

专栏作家艾米狄金森(比尔·霍根/芝加哥论坛报)

由于年龄,我的父母都认为是病毒的高风险。他们告诉我,他们都小心翼翼。上周,他们宣布,他们打算到海边的房子与其他两对夫妇,并计划参观的旅游目的地在被重新开放的区域。我是地板。我恳求他们重新考虑他们的回答是,“我们理解你的关切,并承诺要小心。”

我妹妹后来通过共同的朋友得知我的父母没有尽可能小心他们已经让上(朋友们一直在他们的房子,他们经常与邻居吃饭,等)。

I don’t think they’ve lied to us, but I believe they’ve conveniently withheld details. I don’t know what to do. I’ve shared my concern about the consequences of their decisions.

我们都被这种病毒疲劳,但我希望把我的脚了。我如何获得通过给他们吗?

烦恼

亲爱的不高兴:You won’t get through to them. Your parents are taking risks, and they know this because they haven’t been honest with you about their choices. You cannot control them from 3,000 miles away. You likely wouldn’t be able to control them from one mile away.

This lack of control is a major stressor for family members everywhere, and it is a sadness you will have to learn to tolerate, while you put your hands together and hope for the best.

DEAR AMY:我丈夫和我都退休了。我们拥有两个家,一个在北,一个在南。我们40岁的儿子还和我们住在北方。

我们花费大约在每个地方六个月一年。我们覆盖了我们的儿子的所有费用(除了他的食物,汽车和电话)。我们付出热,电,水,有线电视,保险,园林绿化等。

他不以任何方式提供财政捐助。他全职工作,因为大学毕业,并在财务上做精。

令人欣慰有一个人在屋子里,而我们都走了。他并处理后事,如果有需要时。当我们返回,但是,我不得不深层清洁的地方,我的丈夫变成24小时园丁恢复家里,当我们离开究竟是怎么回事。

我强烈地感到,我的儿子应该财政捐助和做一些琐事,但我老公一直说,“哦,别管他。”

我觉得他应该支付租金。我们一定要放松,而不是由他来来去去(和他的熟人)被中断。

我们心疼我们的儿子,不想伤害或疏远他。

你可以帮助解决这个难题呢?

失意妈妈

亲爱的沮丧:Your son should be paying rent during the six months when you are all in the house together. His rent should be reduced or eliminated during the time he is basically house-sitting for you during the winter.

Many people hire seasonal house sitters during the off-season, because of the substantial risks to leaving a house empty. Some house sitters do it in exchange for a place to live, but many charge a per/day fee.

In terms of you returning home to face many large tasks, he is 40 years old! He should help with cleaning and do all of the yard work (unless your husband enjoys it), and yes – you should return to a house (basically) as clean as you left it. It is completely reasonable to expect this. I’m guessing you have never made this expectation clear to him, however.

我提出切合实际的想法。但是,它听起来好像你只是不想忍受你的儿子。这是完全可以理解的,绝对在情理之中。你可以建议他在暑假期间共迁出,或寻找到一个为期六个月的租金家具(当你在家里是),然后移动到你在冬天家(免收租金)。

DEAR AMY:你跑了一封信“想知道,”谁问为什么酒类专卖店呆开放杜ring the coronavirus pandemic.

As an addictionologist, I will tell you that individuals who quit drinking “cold-turkey” risk the potential of severe, even life-threatening withdrawal.

While I doubt that this was in the thoughts of the politicians who made these decisions, keeping the liquor stores open saved lives.

查尔斯Schauberger,MD,FASAM

DEAR CHARLES:许多其他的读者指出,酒精戒断的危险,我很欣赏的角度和修正。

您可以在askamy@amydickinson.com电子邮件艾米狄金森或写信要问艾米,邮政信箱盒194,Freeville,NY 13068.您还可以按照自己的Twitter @askingamy或Facebook。

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